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How to parent smarter not harder.

Photo of woman with hands at her head looking exasperated to illustrate article on when children's emotions trigger parents' emotions

When children’s emotions trigger parents’ emotions

“Becoming a parent brings with it a host of overwhelming feelings, both harrowing and beautiful: the surge of pure love when you watch your child sleeping; the tears of joy when they stand on...

Graph mapping warmth (horizontal) against control (vertical) to demonstrate how positive discipline brings together warmth and boundaries. The top left quadrant represents authoritative parenting which is high warmth and high control.

Positive discipline: warmth plus boundaries

When it comes to parenting styles, research consistently shows that children who are parented with a blend of warmth plus boundaries are most likely to experience positive outcomes in all areas of...

Photo of man in red jumper against light blue wall, the man is pumping his fists in celebration, banner across the bottom of the image reads How not to shout at your kids

How not to shout at your kids

As parents, we all know that shouting at our kids isn’t a great idea. None of us embarked on parenting with ‘Shouty Mum/Dad’ as our ideal destination. But somewhere along the way,...

montage of book covers showing the best books for teaching children kindness

Best books for teaching children kindness

Books are a fantastic tool for teaching children kindness because they help children see the world through someone else’s eyes. They also provide clear illustrations for younger children on...

photo of teenage girl with definat expression aginst a wall to illustrate article on how to discipline a teenager using positive parenting strategies

How to discipline a teenager?

Parenting a teenager can feel very disempowering. Discipline strategies we used when they were younger just don’t work any more. We can’t put them on the naughty step or make them go to...

Learning to be comfortable with our children’s discomfort…

When challenges happen in children’s worlds and they are held in the grip of big feelings, the last thing they need from their parents is a whirlwind. They don’t need us to throw our big...

Managing difficult behaviour when you’re out and about

“I really struggle with getting my 4 year old to leave the park. I give her lots of warnings but when the time comes she refuses to leave. Sometimes she runs away or I end up almost dragging...

Photo of girl with a lollipop to illustrate article 'What is an accidental reward in parenting?'

What is an accidental reward?

Children are active participants in their own learning and development. One of the ways they learn is through action and reaction – through the direct consequences of their actions. If their...

photo of happy family on a beach to illustrate parenting tips for a harmonious family holiday

Positive parenting tips for a harmonious family holiday

Family holidays are great. They are the stuff that memories are made of – full of relaxed time and laughter, the true essence and point of childhood. Well, that’s the theory, anyway! In...

photo pf a girl on a bike in the summer in article on positive parenting by parenting expert Anita Cleare

A positive parenting toolkit for the school holidays

The school holidays are upon us and I know how busy you are. So, I thought I’d help you save time on your holiday prep and bring together in one place all the positive parenting strategies...

Best books to teach children social skills: photo of 'I'll Wait, Mr Panda book cover

Best books to teach children social skills (2-7yrs)

The absolute best way for children to learn social skills is through practice. Young children needs lots of opportunities to play with other kids – older, younger and the same age. There will...

photo of girl with hand in front of mouth, children's books on lying article

Children’s books on lying

Lying is an issue that every parent comes up against at some time or other. All children experiment with lying (see Why do children lie?). That’s perfectly normal and – although it can be...

stick man holding heart saying Raising Kind Kids

Raising Kind Kids

When I ask parents what their parenting goals are, raising kind kids is usually somewhere near the top of the list. Young children are capable of wonderful acts of compassion. But it takes time for...

boy sitting on the naughty step chair - should parents use Time Out?

Should I use Time Out?

There is a lot of contradictory advice out there about Time Out as a parenting strategy. Should parents use it? Does it work? Is it harmful? At what age should I use Time Out? Time Out has certainly...

cheeky faced child, why don't children just do what they're asked?

Why don’t children just do what they’re asked?

A few thoughts on why children don’t always co-operate when you ask them to do something! If you are struggling with your child’s behaviour, check out our online parenting course and...

Child having a tantrum to illustrate how parents can use consequences for misbehaviour

Positive parenting: using consequences for misbehaviour

One of the key ways that children learn is through cause and effect. “I do X and Y happens – I like Y so I will do X again. I do W and Z happens – I don’t like Z therefore I...

Positive parenting: ignoring children’s misbehaviour

As parents, the most powerful tool we have in our parenting toolbox is our attention. Children tend to repeat behaviour that gets our attention. So, logically, doing the opposite and ignoring...

How to survive long journeys with young children, tips for parents (photof of car crashing through Berlin Wall)

How to survive long journeys with young children

With school holidays fast approaching, this is the time that parents start to dread the annual holiday exodus. That long haul flight seemed such a good idea when you booked it! (And the 5.30am take...

blog post by parenting espert Anita Cleare on why consistency in parenting is so important

Why consistency in parenting is so important

I can’t imagine there is a parent out there who hasn’t heard that consistency in parenting is important. But why is consistency so important? How can we achieve it? And how do we know...

encouraging co-operation - tips on how to get children to listen and do what they are asked

Encouraging co-operation: how to get children to do what they’re asked!

He just doesn’t listen! She just won’t do as she’s asked! Getting children to co-operate can be utterly infuriating. But when it comes to encouraging co-operation, there are some...

Building a family team spirit

There are lots of business theories about the science of team building. My favourite (mainly due to its simplicity) is the GRPI model. According to this model, in order for a team to be effective, it...

Teaching children to share: FAQs

If I had a penny for every time I have been asked about teaching children to share, I would be a very rich parenting expert indeed! It is one of the first post-babyhood problems that parents of...

What’s the difference between rewards and bribes?

Parents often worry about offering children too many incentives. Will it turn my child into a reward-junkie? Will my children always need rewarding to do anything? Will I raise a child who only...

bullying

Bullying: where to find help

Sadly, more than half of UK children will experience bullying – either as victim, perpetrator or witness. Most bullying is quickly dealt with and most children bounce back from it. But for...

kids drawing to illustrate blog post on ground rules by parenting expert Anita Cleare

Ground rules: catch them being good!

In most parenting dilemmas, we have a choice about how to respond. Often, the decision boils down to a choice between being a policeman or a coach. Put crudely, the job of a policemen is to catch...

picture of kid's reward charts

Making reward charts work

Reward charts are a fantastic positive parenting tool for encouraging the behaviour you want from your children. Whether it’s helping out around the house, being polite or using the...

Why do children lie?

Why do children lie? Let’s be honest, all children experiment with lying. It is normal and – although it can be quite shocking for parents – it is not necessarily the start of a...

Encouraging good behaviour: setting ground rules

Setting a few clear ground rules for children puts you in a really positive place as a parent because it lets children know exactly what behaviour is expected from them. It also helps make sure that...

photo of two children pillow fighting on a bed

Managing sibling conflict: why siblings fight

There are lots of reasons why siblings fight. Here are some of the most common...

Help, the kids are driving me mad!

Parents often ask me “How can I stop my children doing X?” The first step is to turn it around and think about how you want them to behave instead. Do they behave that way ever? How do you...