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How to parent smarter not harder.

Photo of man in red jumper against light blue wall, the man is pumping his fists in celebration, banner across the bottom of the image reads How not to shout at your kids

How not to shout at your kids

As parents, we all know that shouting at our kids isn’t a great idea. None of us embarked on parenting with ‘Shouty Mum/Dad’ as our ideal destination. But somewhere along the way,...

photo pf a girl on a bike in the summer in article on positive parenting by parenting expert Anita Cleare

A positive parenting toolkit for the school holidays

The school holidays are upon us and I know how busy you are. So, I thought I’d help you save time on your holiday prep and bring together in one place all the positive parenting strategies...

Parenting in a time of uncertainty

I didn’t imagine myself writing this blog post. It wasn’t on my planner. I’ve spent the last few months writing about the various parenting challenges of Covid-19 (working from...

Finger breathing: how to calm anxious children (by Anita Cleare) - photo of hands

Finger breathing – how to calm anxious children

If you have ever tried to tell a young child who is in the grip of a big emotion to “Calm down,” you will know that often doesn’t work. Children need much more concrete strategies...

boy sitting on the naughty step chair - should parents use Time Out?

Should I use Time Out?

There is a lot of contradictory advice out there about Time Out as a parenting strategy. Should parents use it? Does it work? Is it harmful? At what age should I use Time Out? Time Out has certainly...

picture of a teenager

If you want to stay calm, step into your child’s shoes

I found myself crying in the car last night. Truly blubbering. I had just dropped my teenage son off at his girlfriend’s house – well, around the corner from her house. I’d pulled...

photo of two young girls running through a water sprinkler and smiling, to illustrate article on why positive parenting makes you happier

Why positive parenting makes you happier

A key principle of positive parenting is noticing the good stuff and trying to make a bit more of it happen. For children, this can have a truly transformative effect. When parents notice what their...

Child having a tantrum to illustrate how parents can use consequences for misbehaviour

Positive parenting: using consequences for misbehaviour

One of the key ways that children learn is through cause and effect. “I do X and Y happens – I like Y so I will do X again. I do W and Z happens – I don’t like Z therefore I...

Positive parenting: ignoring children’s misbehaviour

As parents, the most powerful tool we have in our parenting toolbox is our attention. Children tend to repeat behaviour that gets our attention. So, logically, doing the opposite and ignoring...

blog post by parenting espert Anita Cleare on why consistency in parenting is so important

Why consistency in parenting is so important

I can’t imagine there is a parent out there who hasn’t heard that consistency in parenting is important. But why is consistency so important? How can we achieve it? And how do we know...

encouraging co-operation - tips on how to get children to listen and do what they are asked

Encouraging co-operation: how to get children to do what they’re asked!

He just doesn’t listen! She just won’t do as she’s asked! Getting children to co-operate can be utterly infuriating. But when it comes to encouraging co-operation, there are some...

The importance of good transition routines between work and home

Very few working parents use the same skills set at work as they need at home. Work skills tend to be task-focused and efficiency-driven. Whereas children need emotionally attuned parents who are...

photo of stressed mum and child

Stressed-out parents: how stress impacts parenting (and what to do about it)

One of the key principles of positive parenting is looking after yourself. Being a parent is not all about the kids. Creating a family that you enjoy being a member of means balancing...

What’s the difference between rewards and bribes?

Parents often worry about offering children too many incentives. Will it turn my child into a reward-junkie? Will my children always need rewarding to do anything? Will I raise a child who only...

Morning meltdowns: time for a rethink?

Mornings can be hellish for parents with young children. Tantrums, lost shoes, last minute costume requests – getting everyone out of the house on time can feel like herding...

kids drawing to illustrate blog post on ground rules by parenting expert Anita Cleare

Ground rules: catch them being good!

In most parenting dilemmas, we have a choice about how to respond. Often, the decision boils down to a choice between being a policeman or a coach. Put crudely, the job of a policemen is to catch...

picture of kid's reward charts

Making reward charts work

Reward charts are a fantastic positive parenting tool for encouraging the behaviour you want from your children. Whether it’s helping out around the house, being polite or using the...

Why do children lie?

Why do children lie? Let’s be honest, all children experiment with lying. It is normal and – although it can be quite shocking for parents – it is not necessarily the start of a...

Encouraging good behaviour: setting ground rules

Setting a few clear ground rules for children puts you in a really positive place as a parent because it lets children know exactly what behaviour is expected from them. It also helps make sure that...

Triple P parenting self-help workbooks

Triple P parenting self-help workbooks

Triple P parenting self-help workbooks are an ideal solution for parents who want to learn more about positive parenting but who can’t attend a parenting course. The books cover all the same...

Help, the kids are driving me mad!

Parents often ask me “How can I stop my children doing X?” The first step is to turn it around and think about how you want them to behave instead. Do they behave that way ever? How do you...

When parents disagree about parenting

When it comes to children, no two parents in the history of this planet have ever had exactly the same approach to parenting. This is hardly surprising since co-parents have (by law!) grown up in...

Photo of two young children to illustrate article on sibling conflict by parenting expert Anita Cleare

Sibling conflict: a survival guide for parents

Sibling conflict can really leech the fun out of family time. A day of constant mediation between bickering children sends the best of us running for the wine feeling like a battered referee...

photo of teen to illustrate article on parenting teenagers

Parenting Teenagers: a beginner’s guide

Welcome to the parenting teenagers years! During this stage of parenting there will be no handy help from midwives, health visitors or mother and toddler groups. You won’t be swapping tips...

toddler in yellow t-shirt making funny face at the camera - to illustrate article on how toddlers think

Toddlers’ brains: how toddlers think

Toddlers’ brains are only half-finished. As a result, toddlers think in fundamentally different ways from adults. For toddlers, the impossible is just as likely to be true and the laws of...

How do I cope with Teenage Tantrums?

Dealing with teenage tantrums isn’t always easy, especially when you’re juggling work pressures too. Teenagers can go from nought to ten out of the blue, sometimes over what seem like trivial...

How can I stop my children fighting?

It’s no fun living with children who are constantly bickering. Sibling conflict is a common family problem and most families will experience children fighting, arguing, bickering, teasing, and...

What’s going on in my teenager’s brain?!

Teenagers and toddlers have a lot in common. An ability to go from 0 to 10 on the tantrum scale completely out of the blue, a stubborn refusal to follow guidance, fierce fixations on particular...

photo of young girl to illustrate article on calm parenting

The secret of calm parenting? Only ask twice!

Being a parent I have discovered that I do not have endless patience. Like a muscle that has been regularly exercised, I hope that my patience has strengthened through raising children. But when...

photo of happy teen in article on parenting teenagers

Parenting teenagers without conflict

The thing about parenting teenagers (and parenting in general) is that every time you think you’ve got a handle on it, something changes. Strategies that work well with one child seem to have...